The Birth Order Book

The Birth Order Book
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Dr. Kevin Leman's "The Birth Order Book"

Leman divides firstborns into two major groups — 1 compliant nurturers and caregivers, and 2 aggressive movers and shakers. Middle Child: Mediator, compromising, diplomatic, avoids conflict, independent, loyal to peers, many friends, a maverick, secretive and unspoiled.

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Last Born: Manipulative, charming, blames others, attention seeker, tenacious, people person, natural salesperson, precocious, engaging, affectionate and loves surprises. Only children also share many of the characteristics of firstborn children. Based on the characteristics listed above, and using myself as an example, I exhibit many of the characteristics of a firstborn and only child. I am from a two-child family with a boy and a girl. Leman includes factors that affect whether or not you exhibit the characteristics of another birth order group.

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The New Birth Order is instructive and the author not only attempts to explain why you are the way you are, but, also suggests how to adopt the positive qualities of other birth orders to make our lives more enjoyable and fulfilling. Success comes with a price: Firstborns tend to be type A personalities who never cut themselves any slack. Maidenberg, Ph. And because they dread making a misstep, oldest kids tend to stick to the straight and narrow: "They're typically inflexible—they don't like change and are hesitant to step out of their comfort zone," she explains.

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In addition, because firstborns are often given a lot of responsibility at home—whether it's helping with chores or watching over younger siblings—they can be quick to take charge and can be bossy when they do. That burden can lead to excess stress for a child who already feels pressure to be perfect. If the couple decides to have a second child , they might raise their second-born with less of an iron first due to their previous experience. They might also be less attentive since there's other children in their lives.

Why You Are the Way You Are

Therefore, the middle child is often a people-pleaser due to the lack of attention he gets in comparison to his older sibling and younger sibling. I'm not the youngest.

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Who am I? This sort of hierarchical floundering leads middle children to make their mark among their peers, since parental attention is usually devoted to the beloved firstborn or baby of the family.

Middleborns are go-with-the-flow types; once a younger sibling arrives, they must learn how to constantly negotiate and compromise in order to "fit in" with everyone. Not surprisingly, Dr. Sulloway notes, middle kids score higher in agreeableness than both their older and younger sibs. Because they receive less attention at home, middletons tend to forge stronger bonds with friends and be less tethered to their family than their brothers and sisters. Middle kids once lived as the baby of the family, until they were dethroned by a new sibling.

Unfortunately, they're often acutely aware that they don't get as much parental attention as their "trailblazing" older sibling or the beloved youngest, and they feel like their needs and wants are ignored.

The Birth Order Book : Why You Are the Way You Are

Maidenberg, "It's easy for them to be left out and get lost in the shuffle. Youngest children tend to be the most free-spirited due to their parents' increasingly laissez-faire attitude towards parenting the second or third, or fourth, or fifth Gail Gross. Leman advised honoring each child's unique differences and respecting their diverse strengths and challenges. US Edition U.

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News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Newsletters Coupons. Terms Privacy Policy. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. But children with siblings, too, express unique personality types based on their birth order. Youngest Child.

What Parents Can Do. Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard. Join HuffPost Plus. Carolyn Gregoire.

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